I’m Not Everything I Want to Be

In an act of female kinship, the artistic, personal, sexual, and political lives of Czech photographer Libuše Jarcovjáková—“the Nan Goldin of Soviet Prague”—are vividly brought to life through her candid diary entries and striking images. It’s 1968, and under the oppressive forces of Soviet Czechoslovakia, the young woman is denied access to university because she is from an intelligentsia family—but this is not enough to suppress Jarcovjáková’s creative curiosity. I’m Not Everything I Want to Be follows her adventures through sexual relationships, friendships, parties, nightclubs, domestic life, and cityscapes from Prague to Tokyo and Berlin. Told through thousands of mostly black-and-white still photographs and excerpts read from her diary, this film captures the spirit of the times and examines a life lived against the grain.